Late Bloomer yarns

On one of those days when I randomly decided to slide into the Whatsapp chat room of my former school mates, thoughts of how I was always a late bloomer filled my mind and questions about where all the high school and Uni fine girls were in pursuing their lives purpose would be. So for those who do not know, here are few tips to know a late bloomer or find out if you are one yourself. You are welcome, my dear!

1. You grow up with hearing tales of how you came out of the womb anxious- I was told by my mother and the mid wife who delivered me that I came out eyes opened and refusing to cry even after two wooden ruler spanks.

2. You probably dreaded puberty because everyone seemed to have become well built in physique except you- and you wonder who you offended.

puberty would bring one of two kinds of personalities as a defence mechanism. a) you would either be the quiet conformist who got bullied at every opportunity or not. b) you would be too much of a talker who happens to share exaggerated (not lies) information, become the karate kid of your class and pretty much hardly in people’s good book and above all, you are known as the chief noise maker or trouble maker as the case maybe. taking a closer look, I would probably say I was the latter but in the quest to feign good girl, I would say I was the former.

3.You began dating when the dating shop was closing: I dated at the age my friends were done dating and it had to be long distance for fear of being judged that the boo was neither cute nor built nor bougie.

4. Your school clothes or clothes generally were probably one of the most hideous your generation had ever come across (it was neither torn nor dirty, it was just…THERE). While your friends were adorning themselves with sleek minis and haut dresses with shoes and bags to die for, you were still living in your Cinderella dress and girly pumps with knee high socks. if your school had a uniform police every week, you sure know you wouldn’t miss that list on some weeks.

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5. You rebel or more like trying out some relatively ‘bad stuff’ in your late teens/early twenties-yet, you did not get away with it because the powers that have been sent to drive sense into your head were working 24/7. In my case,  mom lost the energy to throw things at me her resort became the pastor. Till date, i fear to talk to pastors. #Sorrymom

6. You know you are a late bloomer when your thought patterns are weird, you unconsciously go against societal norms and you pretty much like odd stuff like the smell of fresh paint or cannabis, jazz, poetry or you have a thing for doodling on your notes etc and it’s really not your fault to like what you like-you…just…like it that’s all!

7. Your parents never tell you to your face that you are a good kid but they do say it to others anyway.

8. On a scale of 1-10 (10 is highest), you level of PDA is.. let’s say… to be awkwardly fair 3.5-4.

9.The beautiful part of blooming late is, you do not seem to be working on everyone’s time. you do what you can, while you can-you let life happen NATURALLY! Till date, you do not buy things because they are in vogue, you buy them because you feel you need it. you buy it when the world has forgotten about it. I figured this out recently while reading an amazing book on the smart money woman. A book half the ladies on my timeline had appraised years ago (good book by the way).

10. Your dreams are too big. Bigger than that of Joseph the dreamer. However, you are often stuck between pleasing people and doing things outside the box. you still would pick the latter all day every day. it is who you are. you are not normal.

I have come to realise that as much as it seems as if i  and as many other late bloomer s who could relate saw ourselves as gullible, we sure knew what we wanted out of life (well, to an extent) we did not want to end up in Macdonalds, sell pepper and tomato in front of our parents house while others went to school or become an apprentice hair dresser or vulcaniser in one boring shop (not that I have anything against these professions or the people who choose this path). we had one thing others lacked, the ability to make our decisions without being bullied or most cases pressured to. Our mistakes were all consciously made; like my first puff, my first taste of alcohol, my first night out at a club, my first hair relaxer experience or even my first kiss.

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And if any one ever says late bloomers are barely successful, they should think again or else where would you categorise our fellow statesmen Jane lynch, J.K.Rowling, Samuel Jackson, Denzel Washington in the  Association of late bloomers. So keep calm, you would turn out mega great.

That being said, Late Bloomers! Awooo!

 

Photo Creds: Facebook/gif

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