Over the last couple of weeks, I have made at least two major giant strides. First, I became a year older and 24 hours later, I bagged a Masters degree. These were above other reasons, something worth celebrating and being euphoric about. BUT……NO! I wasn’t all that happy. As a matter of fact, I had what some social scientist regard as Accomplishment Amnesia.
Accomplishment amnesia occurs when we get so busy meeting our obligations and moving on to the “next thing” that we quickly forget what we’ve done in the past (however distant or recent) that has value.
It is a state of mind whereby individual works so hard for a cause/goal, but at the point of savouring the dividends, the individual feels less of themselves, thinking they have not accomplished as much as they hoped to. This feeling has flooded by thoughts over the past months because, as every young and ambitious person, I strive to outdo myself and the plans I have set out for myself. In the event that it all does not work as planned whether due to faults of mine or the laxity people I entrusted with the plan, while working on it,or just Posterity taking its course in life, i fall into this mode of not remembering or considering that I have accomplished much even when people slide into my DMs to profess how in many ways I have inspired them to take action and refuse to be a couch potato.
I personally think that this ‘condition’ is birth from fear of failing and most importantly, the anxiety that comes with anticipating what the future holds and how bright or dim it would be. the concern about talks on purpose and the sheer uncertainty that everything I do, have done or still doing is all for that one-word Spiritual and motivational leaders have come to terms with using to make a chunk of money from the ignoramus like me.
So here I am again, writing this from the comfort of my bed, my favourite tea at hand, and just pondering on what the future holds. Would I end up with a title after my name saying PhD or would I in the next couple of weeks, months and…. (hopefully not years) find meaning to my life and finally seize the moment to walk in it. Would I earn a living doing what I love or find myself doing something to make ends meet. Would I marry Oyinbo due to the pressure from friends and family members just to ‘secure’ an unsure future or would I find the ying to my yang and live happily…
While I still live in the uncertainty of tomorrow, I choose to trust the Almighty who knows the end from the beginning while I swallow my pride count my blessings for the accomplishments I have attained the last couple of years.
Photo Credits: Emmanuel Johnson and Adis Kanova.