Bosses Without Borders

The choice of headline for this post is quite hilarious to me. First, because I was not sure of a suitable topic to describe this piece and secondly, I was trying to play upon words (am not quite sure if I nailed it though).

Anyway, this post is about bosses. Yes…! Bosses!


Bosses you might probably refer to as HORRIBLE but for some reason,you can’t seem to get them out of your head. yep! Those Bosses! Bosses that have instilled a form of fear in you  lingering over your new bosses or anyone in authority over you, bosses who regardless of how horrible you say they are, have taught you something unforgettable about life. Sometimes, you might just have one, other times life throws you more than one of this species of bosses at you. Ever had a boss in this category…well I have and I want to talk about her (Yes! HER)

But First…

You see, Michel Foucault once explained in his book on Power and Subject that the  subject  is described as both a state of being subject to another’s control and of obtaining and becoming knitted to an identity or position while power is exercised on free subjects and insofar as they are free (Foucault 1982). You might wonder what I am trying to drive at with Foucault’s position of the power and subject. You see, according to Foucault no boss should have this form of domineering power on his/her subject without freedom/free will because one way or another, the subjects wilfully  obtain the identity of the person with the power. Unfortunately, these bosses have probably never read Foucault’s book in their lives. so back to my story…

Two years ago I was at a place in life called (In-between jobs-which is also termed as jobless). Fortunately, luck shined on me and  I had the privilege of working with a young woman who was as ambitious as I was. For the purpose of this post, we would call her ‘Boss lady’. She had a plethora of businesses but I found myself in her PR firm first as an assistant but I got fired on the grounds that I was too slow in constructing a perfect lie for publicity. Before my sack, the boss lady knew I loved to write so she rehired me as a writer for her magazine firm. this time, because I understood what it was like being without a job, I was ready to do anything to keep my Job. Moreover, how many bosses give you a second chance.

Hey! almost forgot to add, Bosslady was a good ‘famzer’ (to the non- Nigerians, let’s just say a famzer is someone who can exaggerate on everything- they are not liars, they just sweet tongue people into things) I was famzed into the job, because she loved how hardworking and the network I had built for myself at a young age. However, because I had a bad sense of style, she was ready to mould me to become a mini her (truth be told, I wanted to be like her, I really admired boss lady and I still do).


Since I had been given a second chance, I was all -in this time, sad thing was I resumed without am employment letter or contract, an I.D. card to show I was working for the company, no salary structure, no closing time or resumption time NOTHING (though I was told in passing that my work time was 9:00- 17:00hrs but that was in passing not documented i ended up working 7 days a week 9:00- 23:00hrs all through the five working days) I did not complain because I wanted to work and gain new skills.  However, I learnt more than skills. I was an errand girl for her personal errands, her only staff writer, her blogger, her second assistant and above all, her office Buddie (yep I won her heart that much).

I don’t plan to share a life history of two years ago with you to bore you, I just want to share the main things boss lady has taught me despite the fact that I was used, insulted, sacked, bashed, you name it while I was with her(she even told me to watch Devil wears Prada again before working with her- reason for the picture) and these tips have helped me in my life’s journey so far. that is why I said earlier that though we might not have any business to do together, the experience I had with her was priceless.

  1. You need to have a fashion culture.
  2. If you want to be taken seriously and/or respected, dress the part.
  3. Read as though your life depends on it (you never know when you would need that piece of information you read about)
  4. Be inquisitive, ask questions.
  5. If you want to be broke in life have friends that would never challenge your thought process or think of new and creative ideas
  6. If you want to be broke, mingle with mediocre and vice-versa
  7. If you make a mistake, beat yourself, learn the lessons and MOVE ON!
  8. Question things around you, Find answers.
  9. If you go through a bad break up your rebound or next relationship/ partner should be waa aa ay better than the former. it’s therapeutic according to boss lady.
  10. Find your niche, train dirty to perfect it, make sure you be a boss in that niche. Be your own competition.
  11. And when life throws you lemons, honey make a cocktail lemonade is for the mediocre.


I hope Boss lady has taught you something as she has taught me. I just hope she understands Foucault’s idea of power and uses it accordingly.


Photo Credits:  Quotesgram and



New Level Lateness

I have been emailed a night before about my meeting at 10am. Considering I do not consider myself a morning person, I do not mind the timing at all (i mean it’s mid-morning). In fact, I would be there by 9:30am maximum 9:45am (i tell myself). I set my alarm for 7:30am which to some would be too early to wake up for a 10:00am meeting but after thinking of all that I do before I leave my house (which includes taking the bus or walking for about 25 minutes), I better set the alarm for that time yet I am still ‘almost’ late or very late for my meetings.

You see I do not set out to be late for an appointment (and I mean any appointment at all) I wake up to say my prayers (in between sleep) and  because I do not want to be late, I skip all the yoga/ aerobics ceremony, give myself a good look in the mirror and tell myself sweet uplifting things for another 10 minutes.


it’s 8:00am ‘i am doing alright with time, (i tell myself- Tolu you are so smart) head to the shower spend another….. you already know by now (and if you don’t, check my previous blog post).

Since I am not much of a makeup person I am usually done in less than 10 maximum 10 minutes. I check the time, it’s almost 9am  I skip breakfast so I could leave the house early but then again, I think to myself (a cup of tea and a slice of bread would not hurt moreover, I need the energy to kick off the day). I get to breakfast in one hand and my phone on the other hand (i need something to help me pass the time while I eat and drink- I tell myself again). I take a seat to make myself comfortable to read through people’s ramblings on social media and the comic stunts some people enjoy doing. Next time check, it’s 9:35! How Come!


As a ponder on the many reasons why I run late, I chose to write down (i actually mean reminisce)  on everything I do to find out what takes the most of my time. In the midst of my thoughts wandering to find answers, the answer stared at me in the face -with a screen and keypad not forgetting the  community of people who keep me ‘busy’ on that screen.

You see when Marshall McLuhan told us we would live in a global village: one world interconnected by an electronic nervous system, making it part of our popular culture. We thought he did us a favour but what he did not know was that this ‘electronic nervous system’ has made us pathological late comers.

Take it or not, we are all active and passive members of a virtual commuinity. From facebook groups to Whatsapp forums, we have all been part of a group. However, most of the time people like me tend to be on the passive side view comments and posts of others. People like me are called the monitors. we never say a word or comment unless there is need to correct an opinion or motion (you might think i am deviating but i am not) see, i fear that because i spend so much time in front of a mobile screen i would be one of those millions who would make physical interaction go into extinction. I fear that that would happen because I live for physical interaction. it is my life!

But with Lady Apple  taking most of my space and making me late (yes! she made me late or how do you explain her frequent beeps that need my likes, the pictures that need my shares and the post that need my comments). The advertising companies do not help too. using  my interests and bio on social media only  for them to flood my timeline with things to entice me! God is watching you o!

So this is me unashamed and in search of a community of people who need a social media rehab (more like people who need to value human interaction more than virtual communities, people who understand that no matter how virtual we make our reality, it still isn’t a reality).